A Cannes of worms.

The prelude to what is probably the biggest film festival of the year begins with near panic. Woefully underprepared and denied accreditation, I venture forth, hopeful yet realistic to what I might achieve at the festival. Who am I kidding? I have no clue what to expect, and worried it might turn out like the Venice film festival; slight tan and a bag of swag.

So why am I going? The answer is simple. I'm an actor. And we are like vultures to the carcass when it comes to meeting directors, producers and casting folks. And they know it. They can smell the sheer desperation with every forced greeting and nonchalant "So what do you do..." The secret, I have learned, is to treat every interaction like a first date who has answered the door buck naked. Play it cool like you've seen this a thousand times, 0 expectations, and try not to stare. I would like to build relationships that translate into collaborative work, and I do have SOME pull as a producer, but ultimately I'm just another actor looking to get cast.

What REALLY scares me is how much I would have to put on the "social act". A question I keep hearing is... "What parties am I attending?" Excuse me what? 1. Parties. 2. Part-IES as in plural. I imagine in my head hollywood fuels coke fests, booze and boats and the need to be cool in a sea of names you need to remember or forget immedieately. Im sure it wont be as bad. In truth it would probably be more like the High-school prom, with everyone awkwardly hugging the walls while the most popular and extroverted kids talk to the person you've been working up the courage to approach to the whole night. Only to have them exchange numbers in your face and move on to the next victim.

I DO have a plan. Play the villian! Ive got a custom hat from Universal studios that says 'Prodcuer'. I wear this and not only am I guaranteed wierdos will come up and talk to me, maybe a few hungry directors might be inspired to cross the dance floor. Yes it is catfishing, but this day and age isnt that the norm? I'll keep you updated if my little plan works. So with me luck and lets hope im not so popular I get invited to late night parties that I cant find a good enough excuse to back out of.

LWX